What a brilliant piece of writing. I recognise the dynamic that you identify - the challenge of operating within (and also seeking to change) a system that is built to prevent you thriving - in fact a system that seems to promote the opposite of what you stand for- community, connection, well-being for all. I think of your attitude as "swimming against the tide" - a phrase I heard a Buddhist use once. I love the connection with swimming in the sea - these energies are found in the physical landscape as well as the metaphoric. Best of luck to you!